Great Opportunity In Fast-Growing Industry

Do you love making easy money???

Do you love Internet solicitations???

Do you love vagueness???

How about question marks???

Well then this might be just the job for you. WorkCorps is seeking a recent college graduate with a background in heraldry and civil engineering. Applicant must have a strong nose for detail, a nose ring, outstanding business acumen, and a booming baritone. Must be well read in Homer and Eric Jung.

Also, at least eight years (or months) of experience in microwave repair is preferred. Must be fluent in Czech or Kiswahili, but not both; limited English a plus.

Please send your resume to whoever you want. Those seeking to click their mouse further, by all means, click away.

If you have a bachelor of arts, crawl into a hole and hold your breath. This is an entry-level position in an office in a glittering skyscraper in a city of your choosing. Position is only eligible to college sophomores with great hair (red) and a voluminous DVD collection including but not limited to the following titles: "Gladiator," "Legally Blonde," and "Remember The Titans."